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TournoiDubai 2001 |
Player Profiles ~ BA
classics
Steve Allen Position: Team Manager and wrong side of 40
In his third year in Dubai, Steve has avoided becoming an old washed out expat by tuning into Sky Premier League every night, turning the airconditioning up high and pretending he is freezing on the terraces. After destroying both his own home and the surrounding suburb over previous Tournois, Steve's neighbours have begged him to get the boys back again. Steve has spent the last three months in summer training camp with the Emirates team attempting to learn some of their skills and pick up strategy tips. Steve will be looking to guide the BA classics beyond the giddy heights of the semis
Steve Priest Position: Goalie Age: Bald at 35
In the process of moving to Paris Steve is hoping some of the local talent will rub off on him (stick to the furry glove Steve!). Cat-like goal keeper was one of the players of the tournoi in 1998. Potential for the Simon white memorial trophy if he can find a very dark nightclub.
Matt Butler Position : Midrift (rumoured backside) Age: 9
Young, Blonde, 5'10'' with great ball control seeks Eastern promise.... Super fit midfielder - Owenesque. Watch out for Matt’s amazing dribbling - especially around 1am. Commanded a tournoi record transfer fee in his move from Hong Kong to Singapore. Like any great has his fare share of vices - pictured taking a bunny boiler round the back end of a nightclub.
Steve Cassidy Position: Very Forward Age: 32
Known for his silky skills around the box, nobody has ever seen Steve play football. Silver-tongued and lilly livered great things are expected from the Scottish born impresario. Runs all of the BA Cargo World - allegedly. Cameron Diaz watch out!
Jim Ager Position: Goalie Age: No one really knows
Cat-like Keeper. Has been around a bit, playing for Clubs in London and Glasgow before settling in Birmingham. Cutting wit and heavy drinking will be a real feature of his play. After being held at gunpoint during last years tournoi (literally) will be wearing his bullet proof vest under his number 1 shirt.
Ian Barrigan Position: Midrift Age: 31
From Liverpool (Watch out for your hubcaps!) i.e. used to be a great player but things have gone downhill since the 1980s. Ever present at the Tournoi Barra will be hoping to rediscover the glory days of semi-professionalism and those heady days when he could go to a restaurant in Dubai without losing the contents of his bowels. Good bet for the Modesh trophy!
Andy Jaye Position: Backside Age 30ish
A rookie at the Millenium tournoi Dr.J became a legend within 3 days. Amazing ability to sunbathe whilst hopelessly hungover and to deny everything from the night before. Can talk the backside off one of Matt's girlfriends. Fancies himself as an all-rounder, but his backgammon stinks.
Baba Divani Position: Frontside Age: 21
New boy based in India. Forced his way into the side by buying the captain beers all night in Delhi and guessing the shape of a football. Already well placed for suntan of the tournament and as a single man with a great suntan already being touted for the evening honours.