TournoiDubai 2001

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After retiring from the semi-pro tennis circuit, he turned to football and made his debut by captaining the ‘Norwich Boys’ in Le Tournio II. An anchorman and orchestrator in any team with the ability to turn a game with one of his trademark runs. Possesses a frightening combination of power and speed…… if anyone is to stop Emirates Classics, then surely they must first stop The Flash !!

Despite having a chequered career, dogged by injury and ginger hair, he has become a proven goal scorer at every level of the game….. if proof were needed, then one need only glance at Steven's MS Excel spreadsheet of career goals. His superb marksmanship, combined with a Herculean strength on the ball is enough to terrify the most competent defence. Recent proud father of newborn Caitlin May, but more importantly, current joint holder of 'Ironman Dubai 2000'.

Football is a religion to this man, so help him God!! Who could forget that memorable tournament winning peno in Le Tournio III? But Robin is not one to bask in former glory and will be eager to burn his way into the history books once more. His body strength and tenacity in the middle of the park will always make him a force to be reckoned with. However, after recently moving into a palatial suburban residence, surely his biggest task will be trying to stop his British Midland houseguests from pissing in Sharon's new sink!!

After purchasing a Silver Porsche Boxster some months ago, no one has actually seen him. However, Tim's natural fitness and sublime ball skills are an asset even he couldn't have bought. Dubbed by some as the heartthrob of the tournament, and by others as 'a bit of a prat' he has always been one to answer his critics on the pitch. His bird's gorgeous and I've snogged her!

Known as the Fabien Barthez of Dubai, Stewart's larger than life presence between the Emirates posts has been there since Le Tournio's inception. The veteran goalie is a man for the big occasions and can often be seen early morning on his way to work, greeting Nick Marriot (on his way home from a night out) in the Sahara foyer.

One of the fittest members of the team, yet heaviest drinkers. If this doesn't seem to add up, then neither does any aspect of this seventies playboy's lifestyle. Before turning to a life of porn, he was the stand-in for Starsky, in the popular seventies cop series 'Starsky & Hutch'. Although he never actually made it to the final cut, his Beemer did! Soon premiering will be Simon's latest porn blockbuster release 'cum fly me', in which he plays a particularly convincing role as a 45 year old, twice divorcee, father of 15…… funny that!

He's got it all……. power, pace and the ability to embarrass the most experienced of defenders. Ultra fit and has proved himself a worthy of the coveted Emirates shirt time and time again at Insportz. Little is know about this loners social movements, although is unlikely to feel out of place in any of the seedy establishments we hope to be visiting.

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